That Sain
by BookwormGamer
Summary: It's been several years, since they were forced to part. Priscilla has found a diary she kept during that journey, and will read it to reawaken her memories. SainxPriscilla oneshot.


And I'm all of a sudden back! On two different sites, I'm taking requests in celebration of Christmas, and I'll have a lot of oneshots I'll be doing. If anyone actaully remembers it, I've discontinued my Dark God fic. Give me your e-mail if you're interested in how I think the war between the Dark God, Ashera, and the Three Heroes actually went down. Don't be afraid to review me badly.

**That Sain**

Priscilla sighed as she fell onto her massive bed, made from the finest wood that could be found in Etruria's. She turned around, looking at herself in the mirror, framed in gold. Everything she had was luxurious, but all of these items couldn't make up what she lost. What she had lost a few years ago when it was all over…she could still remember his voice.

As Priscilla decided to take a walk outside, something on her dresser caught her eye, right next to the robe made of goose feathers. Picking it up, she realized she hadn't touched this since they had departed. It was the diary she had written in. The one that had been increasingly more and more about Sain…memories from long ago. It wouldn't hurt to look once more, would it?

She had a feeling it would as she opened the pages.

_Entry 5: Sain_

"I am Sain! Sain of the Caelin knights! That Sain!" he had introduced himself. He had stood up on his horse proudly at the final sentence, nearly falling off and embarrassing himself. We had chatted, and I found him odd. But there was a type of gentleness in him, a kind, caring, and dutiful person, though not dutiful in the same way as Kent, his "boon companion."

That night, I asked about him. "Sain?" Lyn repeated, shaking her head. "Let me guess, he flirted with you? Complimented on how beautiful you were?"

"Why would you guess that?" I asked.

"He's a good person, but he can't keep his eyes off the ladies. He always spouts off nonsense, scares them off, and carries on, tossing his compliments to everyone," Lyn answered. "I can talk to him if you want."

"No, that's fine," I assured her, walking off, thinking the same thoughts I am now. Is Sain really like that? Sure, he had talked about my eyes, but that was it, really. He didn't sound like that to me. Sain…he had seemed like a gentleman, and then an awkward commoner that had the permission to address a lady. Well, that was sort of how it is, isn't it? I wonder would it would have been like if it we had met under different circumstances, with different statuses.

He seems like a nice man, though.

_Priscilla_

She smiled as she finished this entry. Like in her diary, she could recall the memory of Sain, standing up proudly as he stated his name, quickly grabbing onto the reins of his horse immediately after. Sain always did make her feel, some way. Happiness and sadness…at first, separately. Then, one after another.

_Entry 7: Sain Again_

I have decided that Sain is a kind knight. As I carelessly wandered around the battlefield, remembering the days when (there was a smudge here, as if a tear fell onto the ink)…when Lord Raven played with me. When we had a family…I miss him. He seems so distant now…my brother…

As I thought about him, Sain came up to me and awakened me from my memories. I had been stuck in the one where I was sent away, to be adopted. The tears I had shed, and wanted to shed when I was remembering it…it was as if I was in a nightmare. He pulled me out of it, and tried to heal me, in a different way then I have healed him. He truly is a caring man, and tried to help me, wanting me to open up, so that he could share my pain…

It didn't turn out the way he had intended, probably.

But it worked.

_Priscilla_

Priscilla's smile weakened as she remembered, her mind split into four different worlds. One was right now, reading the diary, reviving her past, while the other three were living it. She was remembering him that day, and her sorrow. How he tried removing it. Another part was reminiscing, reawakening, the emotions, the tears, during her's and Raven's first departure. And when they finally met each other, back in the conflict, he had changed.

The fourth piece of her mind was reliving the writing of the entry. How she felt sadness that day, and how she had felt happy eventually thanks to Sain. How she believed Sain was probably hoping for a storybook ending to that scene…and how she added the final sentence only after trying to get to sleep that night.

Shaking off the memories, Priscilla remembered that she wasn't done, yet.

_Entry 12_ (she had given up titles by then)

Why…why does Sain make me feel the way I do? I feel like a great burden is lifted off my shoulders when he appears in front of me, and yet, another one falls on my back, requiring me to bear it. It has grown more so today…

I think, amidst our small, sparing conversations, we have…no, maybe he isn't. But I think I have fallen in love with Sain, the one that tries to be compassionate and understanding of me, no matter how difficult it is. Sweet and sensitive beneath the bravado.

Sain…he has told me…I do not wish to remember the conversation. It makes me so happy, and yet, so sad, but I feel like I must share a piece of it, with myself. So that I can remember…the joy…and hopefully the grief, by then, has disappeared.

He says…he says he is in my service, now! Mine! I can't believe how wondrous this news is, that he'll stay by my side. Yet…protecting me, he has been injuring himself. It makes me worried that he cares too much; maybe he is in love.

And…for some reason now, I remember what Lyn said. Is this all just wooing? If he finds someone he thinks is prettier, will he leave and leave me alone again? I was alone when I was separated from my brother, and he's lost to me…I don't think I can bear losing someone again.

His smile…I hope it is for me, and not my body.

_Priscilla_

Priscilla dropped the diary, knowing which entry would come next. She didn't want to read about it after it happened. The lady began remembering it on her own instead.

It was the night before they set off for Valor once more, and she was out on the Ostian grounds, thinking. Her mind was content with what had happened the past few days, with her mustering enough courage to talk to her brother. It was a storybook ending. Raven told her what he had thought of doing to Ostia in the name of House Cornwell, and how Lucius had convinced him not to. Everything had worked out, and though Raven still seemed a bit cold, it was more of an awkward type of silence then ignorance.

She sat down by the lake, lying down on the grass and gazing at the stars. She felt like she didn't have a care in the world, as if she was flying out of her body and away from her troubles. Until an anchor brought her back down as it appeared next to her.

"Priscilla? Are you alright?" Sain asked.

"Fine, thank you." Her voice was crisp and cool as the distance to the stars seemed to be growing.

"Priscilla…I can tell when you're not yourself. Your voice…it's always so soft and gentle, like your eyes and smile. I don't see anything of that today…what's wrong?" Sain questioned her.

"Soft and gentle?" Priscilla repeated. "Well, I bet that's the only thing you've noticed, isn't it? Soft and gentle, across my face. Tell me what happens when you find someone even softer, gentler, and dumber?" Part of her on the inside was screaming that what she was doing right now was wrong. Treating Sain like this, when she didn't fully mean it; when she didn't even understand.

"I don't understand," Sain admitted. "What are you talking about?"

"Sain, how many others have you said these things to. Smiling, compliments, and promising to be there for them as long as possible? Hundreds, I bet. What number am I?" Priscilla challenged. She wanted to scream this all out, to hit him, to let loose all the mistrust she had. But she couldn't…she wasn't like that, and she wouldn't be able to do that to Sain of all people.

"Priscilla…I've always tossed affection, I admit, but I'm Sain, and I'm a man of my honor," Sain answered. "You're the only one who I've sworn loyalty to not counting Lyn…and I want to keep it that way." Priscilla felt it all crash onto her.

_He's lying…he's lying…_she wanted to think. _It's his fault, not mine…_Who was she kidding? She just didn't trust him enough. "Sain…I'm sorry…"

"Seeing you back to normal is all I need," he told her. "Don't worry…just smile…you said you loved to see mine. I love to see yours, too…smile…but only if you mean it."

"I do…but…" She turned away from him. "We only have a few battles left together, before you leave to Lyn's side again."

"I know, but don't worry…I'll always think of you, and someday, I'll find a way to get to you," Sain vowed. "Then we'll have the perfect ending together…"

He even knows my weakness, Priscilla noticed. He knows I'll fall for any chance of a fairy tale finish…Looking back up into the sky, Priscilla couldn't believe how close the stars were and how light she felt.

Priscilla opened her eyes as she finished her recollection, a tear sliding down her face. She vaguely remembered that there was one more thing left, but she didn't remember what. It was horrible…and that's why she probably chose to forget it. Picking the diary back up, Priscilla turned to the final pages. It was hard to read with the shaky handwriting and smudges from tears.

_Entry 18_

Gone. He's left and gone. We told each other that we would always be with each other, lying to ourselves. And now he's lost, and I don't think I'll ever get to find out if he changes or not. A Caelin knight getting back to a lady. Not a chance.

I can't believe this has happened. Sain's left. I feel miserable remembering. I can't handle it, I want to drown and wash everything away. But I still think I'll find him someday. I hope at least.

Lucius and my brother parted from me again. They say they don't belong in court. Both are staying as mercenaries. I don't think I have a chance at seeing them again. Sellswords stay in that status no matter what they are before or later no matter how high they can rise up sometimes.

I still remember what happened.

"Sain, don't leave me, please…" I cried. "Please, stay with me…"

"I have a duty to guard Lyn, you know that," Sain reminded her. "Don't worry, Priscilla…we can…we can meet each other at Eliwood's and Hector's coronations, right?"

"It's not the same…I want to be with you forever…"

"Priscilla, I have to go. You know I have to…" Priscilla hugged him as tight as she could.

"You promised…promised…" Sain muttered something to himself then. I think it was about me being so gentle.

"I promised we'll have a happy ending. I'll find you someday." As I looked up, I think Sain and I were leaning in for a kiss. Our first one. But he pulled away at the last moment. I'm not sure why. Did he think it would make me worse? Did he think it wasn't right? I don't know.

While I watched him ride off, I remembered something.

There's no chance of me being able to attend the coronations.

_Priscilla_

She had been so sad that day…her spirit and mind were so broken, that she wrote as blandly as possible to try and keep her emotions out of it. But they poured out…the tears and shaking showed that. Priscilla closed her eyes again, crying. She listened to the cries of battle outside. An attempted bandit raid. Priscilla wiped her face. She'd be out there after the battle, healing. A gentle smile helped heal the soul, while tears could crush it.

As she got outside later, it seemed that there was little damage. "Lady Priscilla, there is but one knight that has been injured, but…that is because he was busy protecting everyone else. He was so intent on helping everyone else, he forgot that he needed to guard himself." That reminded her of Sain. "He is over there…" Green armor, too…

Riding her horse over, as she dismounted, Priscilla gasped. "S-Sain?"

"Yes, I am Sain. Sain formerly of the Caelin knights. Sain the protector of Priscilla. That Sain," he joked, immediately coughing up blood afterwards. She bent down with her stave. "It's too late…"

"Don't say that…Sain…you promised me…you promised me a happy ending…please, you're a man of honor…"

"Priscilla, I'm sorry…that I couldn't keep it. But…can you do one thing for me?" Sain pleaded as he began coughing more. It eventually died out, as if he didn't even have the energy to do so anymore.

"W-w-what?" she cried.

"Smile for me…just smile that gentle smile…" Priscilla tried. "Come on…for me…Sain…of the…that Sain…" At his attempts to be himself still, Priscilla began smiling. "That's…better…" As Sain closed his eyes, tears from Priscilla's eyes dropped on his armor.

_Entry 19_

I never lost him, and he never lost me. We were always there for each other. I asked a guard for the full story, and apparently Sain became an independent knight, eventually deciding to make his way to here. He became a knight without me knowing and the knowledge that he kept me safe…it kept him going. He was always there for me, guarding me, and I was always giving him a reason to live.

Despite that, it doesn't make the pain any less. I'll miss him…and I don't want to write about it. I think it's the right thing to do…why, I don't know. Maybe it isn't right or wrong.

I can't bear to write now. Maybe eventually, when the pain is better. It'll never die, but it can be accepted eventually…

I'll miss him. Sain of the Caelin knights, the guardian of everything I am, the charming gentleman, the sensitive friend, my love…

That Sain.


End file.
